After writing the initial post a reader pointed out that I didn’t seem finished with my thought. After reading their comments, I couldn’t help but agree. Even as I hit the PUBLISH button I felt wrong about it.
I’ve always enjoyed writing because it gives me the rare opportunity to actually think before saying something. My mom used to say I had foot-in-mouth disease. Let’s just say I was an emotional speaker and I often let my emotions drive while logic sat shotgun and sensitivity was locked in the trunk. It would sometimes take me more than an hour to realize that I had offended someone. Of course, by then I always felt so awful at that moment when the realization would hit me. It was always like one of those eureka light bulb moments. Except in my case it’s like someone smashing the light bulb over my head.
Now imagine this: that was me pre-onset. Now have fun imagining what it must be like talking to me now.
So, I found long ago that I had the ability to control myself when I wrote. Of course, it has become harder now that we have social media. We are all just a click away from being an asshole. However, in my years writing, I learned that sometimes telling the truth means being an asshole.
To the point, I was afraid I might piss some people off. I can see a causal relationship between intelligence and mental illness. I lightly scratched the surface of it. We know more about the world. Though not fond of organized religion, I did enjoy reading the bible and one of my favorite quotes fits beautifully. “He who increases knowledge, increases sorrow.”
As I’ve aged, I have found that the single most depressing thing in the world is the loss of childhood innocence. But I’m not talking about when a child’s innocence is stolen by a predator. In fact, most people lose their childhood innocence. That magic we felt at every little amazing thing the world put before our eyes dazzled us. When we lose that sense of wonder, we gain something in return much more powerful. Realism. When we begin to see that the heroes in our cartoons and comic books don’t really exist. In fact, that beautiful idealism and true belief in truth and justice is nowhere to be found. But it seems all the villains have dripped from the pages and proven to be real.
I’m reminded of a meme I received concerning this issue. I will have to try and find it, but to summarize: the photo is a still from The Dark Knight, where Heath Ledger’s Joker is escaping jail driving a police car with his head out the window. The caption reads “childhood is when you idolize Batman. Adulthood is when you realize The Joker makes more sense.”
BEHOLD! The truth in MEMES!
I think that at the moment childhood innocence is lost, many people simply shrug their shoulders and continue on with their life. Ignorance is bliss, so to speak. But, some of us can’t move on from this point. I’m not talking about any Peter Pan Syndrome or anything that dramatic. We cannot simply look past the ugliness of the world. Now I know that sounds bad. But I can promise you this is not depression’s ugly mug sticking its nose in my thoughts.
The world is a beautiful and horrible place. But it’s the things that don’t have to be horrible and continue to be that we can’t get over. I have an idea and it’s a biggie. You know that really popular medicine that people with allergies need to stay alive? How about we buy the rights to its production and then charge $1,000 for each. What?! Now I know some of you business folk out there might be thinking: “a good acquisition”, “A sound business decision. Me? I still can’t get over the fact that some people don’t get medical treatment because they don’t have money. Things like that boggle my mind. That someone has the power to save someone’s life but they make the conscious decision not to.
The Earth is volatile and growing even more so due to the one species that can’t seem to live in a symbiotic relationship with our home. To put it bluntly, WE SHIT WHERE WE EAT! As the metaphor goes, it’s okay. But, in truth, what other species on the planet seems content with slowly killing and destroying the world on which they live?
I’ll stop you right there. I am not an uber-enviromentalist or anything like that. But to make a long story short (too late)
Dave Mustain got it right when he said that we live in a “Symphony of Destruction”. It’s a big shit show and most of us that sit in the front row don’t get rain slickers like they give you when you see Blue Man Group live.
I Don’t understand cruelty or the need or desire to be cruel just for the sake of it. I never really cared what gifts I got, because I knew the truth of the act. A gift is physical proof that another human being stopped thinking about themselves and their selfish needs (evolutionarily ingrained in humanity) and thought about me for a period of time. Yet I constantly see children complain if they get something they already received or did not want. Most are polite about it. But commenting at all seems unwarranted and rude.
I NEVER understood bullies either. I recall being in many a fight defending someone from bullies. Harassing and torturing another human being physically and emotionally, seemed so inhuman to me. I couldn’t stand the injustice of it.
Wrapping your head around all these things and deciding you don’t like that they happen does not, of course, necessarily make you mentally ill. But can you just see such things and move on with your day? Or, does it consume your thoughts all day or for days at a time? Does it seem so outside your realm of understanding that you can’t make heads ot tails of it? Maybe you have the right idea.