Bipolar Depression and American Beauty

Depression has always been very confusing for me. It’s not that I’m not down and in a negative way, but I am not ONLY emotionally, psychologically and physically down. For me, it’s like my emotional floodgates have been lifted and I’m all over the place emotionally. I have read many articles about empaths and empathy and I feel like this is definitely a component of Bipolar Disorder, especially mine. I’ve had moments of such pure joy that bring me to tears. But it doesn’t end there. Other people’s moments or moments on TV and commercials bring me to tears. It also works both ways. Moments of great sorrow are soul crushing. Music and other art forms meant to evoke an emotional response are deeply affecting to me. The moods of others around me has influenced my mood. Sometimes however, “there’s so much beauty in the world and I feel like I just can’t take it and I will burst.” Oddly enough, it is moments like this that often bring on depressive thoughts. I see all this beauty and I think of what people are choosing to do on it and to it. And no, I am not an Uber environmentalist or bleeding heart (not that there’s anything wrong with that), it just deeply affects me for some reason. Anyone else deal with these issues? It’s important to note, if any of you readers are curious, a common trait of an empath is feeling like you are an alien on another planet. You just don’t get the behaviors, institutions and beliefs of much of human culture.

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